Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
