Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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