Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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