He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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