i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
