i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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