so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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