lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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