Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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