What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
