You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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