Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
