so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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