i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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