I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
