Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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