I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
