I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
