after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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