I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
