Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
