I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
