Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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