I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
