My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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