not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
