It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
