I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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