If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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