my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
