he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
