I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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