So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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