My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
