Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
