I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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