dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize