I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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