I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
