I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize