8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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