The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
