did you get engaged???
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
