Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
