Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
