Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
