did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
