she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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