I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he thought i was a dude.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He shit in the fireplace
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
