Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
