And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
