I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
