Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
