yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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