I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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