Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
this hospital has no fireball
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
