my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
