Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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