You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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