She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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