Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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