I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
