Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
