I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
